Babwezim PM Ganmor Giraitsvan and November wedding taboo

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In a largely conservative Babwezim with many local superstitions, a marriage in November is believed to be a bad omen that could bring doom to the parties involved. It therefore came to many Babweanszim as a big shock to hear that their Prime Minister, Ganmor Giraitsvan has become a traditional deviant following his marriage in November.

Despite the local belief that a November wedding is a harbinger of bad luck, the   PM was reported to have officially performed the traditional wedding ceremony between him and a businesswoman named Dialoca Botem on Monday, after paying a dowry of $36,000 ( £23,000) and 10 cows. Kaka kata sources informed us that his in-laws insisted that the bride price cows must be as chubby and juicy as the son in-law to be.

It will be recalled that Mr Giraitsvan lost his first wife, Sansu in a car accident involving the couple. The accident, which took place shortly after Mr Giraitsvan entered into a unity government with President Bertro Gabemu in 2009 following the previous year’s disputed elections, which were marred by widespread violence, was seen by some as the handiwork of the ruling party. Mr Giraitsvan however debunked such a theory and insisted that the accident was natural.

It was indeed not a big surprise to many Babweanszim that their Prime minister was preparing to get married ““ at least not after Mr Giraitsvan jokingly called himself a bachelor during one of election rallies in Gwizachitun and questioned whether   “a bachelor be denied that right?” following accusations in some quarters that he had some girlfriends. But what Mr Giraitsvan, 59 did not tell his supporters was that the marriage would take place in November.

As controversial as the timing of the marriage might be, the bride in question has equally drawn some uneasiness amongst many members of the Mr Giraitsvan CDM party, who feared that she might be a mole. The bride, Ms   Botem, who is 20 years, Mr Giraitsvan junior, is the sister of an MP in President Bertro Gabemu`s Nuza-FP ruling party ““ the relationship that has prompted many members of the opposition CDM party to question where her alliance would lie ““ with the brother or husband?

“Is this the beginning of the feared doom?“ One CDM official, who pleaded not to be quoted because of fear of being sanctioned, questioned with much concern.

But the Prime Minister did not see it that way. Being well known for not joking with his stomach, the prime minister was reported to have insisted that his new bride was the best in preparing sadza with nyama (cornmeal food with meat, a popular local cuisine). He put so much emphasis on “nyama“ which he claimed has never been prepared better by anyone than his new bride.

According to our sources, even though Babweanszim, especially those from Nasho ethnic group, of which Mr Giraitsvan is a member, saw the marriage as a good sign for Mr Giraitsvan`s presidential aspirations, they equally feared the unknown repercussions following the November marriage.

“It is worrisome to see that a respectable elder like Ganmor Giraitsvan, who should have been a shining example has rather allowed the white man`s idea and the love for sadza and nyama to block his sense and sensibility of the traditional consequences of the November marriage. He is the only hope our tribe has to take control of power. Was he not one of those who were telling us not to marry in November?” One angry woman from Nasho tribe told Kata Kata.

Ever since Mr Ganmor Giraitsvan became a political juggernaut in Babwezim and a close ally of the western world, he has often presented a liberal view of the worlds. This has given his political nemesis, Gabemu the political weapon against him, portraying him as a Western puppet. Some months ago, Mr Giraitsvan made a headline in both Western and Canafri newspapers when he suggested that his country`s new constitution should make provision for freedom of sexual orientation. Even though he quickly accepted that there was “very strong cultural feeling towards gays in my part of the world, but from a human right point of view, individuals must be allowed to make a choice,“ he later back-pedalled when he discovered that the comment met with a harsh outcry in the country`s conservative society especially from his political opponents. Little did his clarification that his statement was rather personal and “not a collective party position” water down the political storm amongst his opponents. His opponents said they were “very worried“ about his stance on homosexuality and castigated him as   a weak, inconsistent political leader. Since an anti-gay stance is seen in many conservative Canafri countries as a pro- Canafri culture standpoint, President Gabemu, who once labelled gays as “worse than pigs and dogs” did not waste time to skillfully exploit Mr Giraitsvan position on homosexuality and clearly got supports from Christian churches and traditionalists. Since a pro-gay stance is synonymous with a Western-influenced position, other Gabemu`s party members such as Lanijabu Bandasi, did not only point out that Mr Giraitsvan “˜s   remarks were from a Western puppet, he even went to the extent of suggesting that Mr Giraitsvan should be castrated and stoned in the open market square for his homosexual views. He further intimated that he had appointed 12 people who would do the stoning for 3.981,37 British Pound per stone.   Asked by Kata Kata`s reporter why the party, which has been sharply critical of Britain, would be ready to pay so much and in British Pounds indeed for such, he looked angrily at her and insisted that it was worth it because according to him, “the interest of our country is at stake here.“

Even though Mr Giraitsvan is regarded in some quarters as a political chameleon, some people have not only questioned his open support for gay rights but also his November marriage despite the cultural belief surrounding such an undertaking.   Is it all about his political survival? Is it fear of being castrated and stoned in the public like Mr Bandasi suggested?   In Caafri, just like in many other parts of the world, many politicians have mastered the art of monitoring the political climate, not only in their various constituencies but also globally for their political gains.   It is therefore not uncommon to hear of “˜Political Climate Minister“ post in many Caafri government cabinets.   Recently, President Gabemu surprised both friends and foes by singing at a political rally. Some people thought he was emulating his friend in Daugan, but little did they know that his friend had gone farer than Mr Gabemu by releasing a CD, which was for many months number one in the chart. Sources told Kata Kata that even the no-nonsense president al-Shirba could not disobey the advice of his influential Political Climate Minister, to recently entertain his political supporters with a belly dance. Even though the president did not like to appear effeminate or expose his fat tummy in the public; he managed a steady smile like a robot with a fully charged Varta battery, when his adviser whispered something about elections in his ears after the president wanted to stop dancing the belly dance half way.

The wish for political timing and survival seemed to be not limited to the ruling heads of state. Mr Giraitsvan has not been considered by many Babweanzim political watchers as being politically naïve. Clearly, he had to make a choice between his political survival and respect for the old local November marriage belief.   His clear support for homosexuality at the time he was a bachelor seemed to raise questions amongst his political opponents ““ question, which could be suicidal politically, especially now that his arch rival has come out clearly to support a law criminalising homosexual practices. Furthermore, many conservative Babweanszim would rather give their votes to a man seeking the highest position in the country with a woman next to him. That leaves Mr. Giraitsvan in a political limbo.

Could Mr Giraitsvan be using a stone to kill two birds at the same time? By supporting gay marriage and getting married in November, he is seen as a local deviant amongst some conservative Babweanszim, but a liberal and progressive in the eyes of the West. However, whether Mr Giraitsvan sticks to the tradition and forgoes his November marriage or damn the tradition for his political survival, both carry risks. Regardless, time will tell ““ after the elections ““ which risks are manageable. It is then that we will know whether the Babweanzim November marriage belief is a myth or reality that could bring doom or boom ““whether PM Ganmor Giraitsvan will go into a political and cultural oblivion or change both the Babweanzim political landscape and the local superstition.

The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real