In his effort to show that Biazam is still a tourists` paradise and assure that the country`s bungee-jump game is still very much safe after the country`s image was shattered following a bungee-jump accident, the Bianzam tourism minister had volunteered to bungee-jump with the Tralianaus woman who was involved in a bungee-jump accident on New Year’s Eve.
Vengi Bindalu, the outspoken Minister of Information, Broadcasting and Tourism, said he had decided to offer himself as a “sacrifice“ in order to restore Biazam`s battered image and promote its diminishing tourism. He made the offer after many tourists neglected the country`s bungee-jump tourism, the major money-spinner in Biazam. This followed, after a 22-year-old Iner Worthylang plunged head-first into the rapids from the fall of 110 metres (360ft) off the Victoria Falls bridge. She escaped with just cuts, bruises and a broken collarbone. The video of the accident became recently an overnight online sensation and a huge embarrassment to the government, who depends so much on tourism ““ a major source of job creation in the country.
But for the practical Mr. Bindalu, it was not just enough to make an offer. To quell any doubts of his seriousness as well as the safety of the country`s bungee-jump tourism, Mr. Bindalu did not tarry to do his bungee jump on Sunday; he welcomed the entire bungee ““ jump lovers to come back to Biazam.
While many saw Mr. Bindalu`s act as truly patriotic and heroic, others saw some political dimensions to it.
“You think he would have done that ordinarily? He only wanted to market his patriotic credentials in the hope of possible succession of the aging President Tasa. Who is he deceiving?“ One MP from the same ruling party as Mr. Bindalu, who refused to reveal his identity, queried.
Kata Kata`s reporter reminded the MP that Mr. Bindalu had once bungee-jumped even before the recent accident with Ms. Iner Worthylang. The correspondent went further to inform the MP that the constitution of Biazam bars individuals who have one parent who isn’t an “indigenous” Bianzam from being President, therefore, the Minister of Information, Broadcasting and Tourism Mr. Bindalu, being of mixed-race parentage is technically and constitutionally barred from contesting for the president. The MP laughed long.
“A point of correction“ the MP interrupted. “Yes, the current constitution bars that.“ He corrected, with much emphasis on the word “current.“ He went further rather cynically:
“Did the constitution allow life presidency in Golaan, Babwezim, Faso Burkina, Guinea Equatorial, Biagam and what have you? No constitution is permanent my dear ““ not even those of the ASU and KU. People make constitution; people change them too to fit present realities. Moreover, don`t forget we are in Caafri. We sure have good patriotic legislators.“
But not even Mr Bindalu`s wife was taking his dangerous act lightly. Although the honourable Minister of Information, Broadcasting and Tourism, is used to criticism. He once came under heavy criticism from both his party and oppositions alike for vehemently disagreeing on what he called unnecessary expenses after the government planned and eventually raised salaries and allowances for both Ministers and MPS after the death of President Vyle Wasamwana. However, being heavily criticised by his wife was something else. According to our moles, the honourable minister was taken aback by the wife`s criticisms.
“What type of stupid Ramboism was that? The wife asked him. “Were you insane? Don`t you know you have kids? How could you have thought of that Oyibo Muzungu risky game without first disclosing all our bank account details and other insurances to me? I would have flogged your corpse if something tragic had happened“ The wife rebuked him heavily according to our moles.
“But don`t worry, love; I was very confident that the rope would not snap. Don`t forget, out of the estimated 150,000 jumps, Ms Worthylang’s accident is the only one since the sport was introduced to Biazam 17 years ago. More so, as tourism minister, I considered it my responsibility to be the “guinea pig” and “take the risk” in order to restore people’s faith in bungee-jumping in particular and in Biazam`s tourism in general“ He tried to explain.
“What is this man talking about? I am getting sick of that your Biazam, Biazam rubbish. You go and die for Biazam, and the highest honour you receive is a stupid medal, which they will bury you with. Another government or president takes over, they stop your allowance. It is then that your kids and I will eat the bungee-jump rope for our breakfast.“ The wife responded angrily.
But a colleague of the minister intimated to our reporter that Mr. Bindalu was indeed fearful before the jump. “Standing at the edge of the bridge and looking down and seeing nothing but water and rocks – and knowing that the only thing that holds you is a bungee rope – is extremely fearful,” the colleague quoted the minister.
Asked by our reporter whether he had any message for the Kata Kata readers, the nearly 50 years Mr Bindalu smiled.
“I am hoping that all those who watched a middle-aged person jumping down the bridge and coming back up smiling will be encouraged not just to jump, but also to come and visit Biazam,” He responded patriotically.
The centre of the Biazam`s bungee-jump, the Falls Victoria is a well known natural wonder of the world and one of the most popular safari destinations in Caafri. Like a Christ ““ figure, Mr. Bindalu is perhaps what some might call a carrier, who might have made a big sacrifice for those who possibly did not appreciate his act. However, time will tell whether Mr. Bindalu`s act was indeed selfless or selfish and the sacrifice, good and heroic enough to bring the much needed tourists back to Biazam.
The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real.