Cancer Specialist Warns Women Not to Clean Their Private Parts

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In Africa, where a woman`s highly treasured private part is regarded as her greatest pride, which must be kept clean, it might sound rather awkward and definitely contradictory to hear that the same womanhood must be left “un-cleaned.“

This was exactly the advice of Bianzam cancer specialist Dr Ronsha Mbwekapa, who had warned women against inserting objects in their private parts, including cleaning the inside. She argued that such a practice could lead to unnecessary infection of the part.

In this mainly conservative part of Africa, where it is often a taboo to discuss sex openly, Dr Mbwekapa`s remarks were highly controversial as well as audacious. In a rare interview with Kata Kata`s southern African correspondent, Dr Mbwekapa, the director of Cervical Cancer Prevention Programme in Biazam, said that women’s private parts, biologically speaking, had the capability of cleaning themselves without getting any outside help.
“This part of a woman`s body, which like a garden, is a very sterile environment, with good bacteria that protects it. Therefore, anytime you start cleaning it, you indirectly disturb the way that garden is associated or the way the environment in the private part is.“

Asked by our reporter how best to keep womanhood clean without interfering with the nature, she cut her short:

“Just leave it alone, it will clean itself. Nothing should be in there. Cleaning outside is more than enough. The nature takes care of the inside.“

Dr Mbwekapa`s advice caused cultural pandemonium in a deeply conservative Biazam.

“When a woman has refused to wash her treasure for her man, she should be prepared not to refuse to go back to her family thereafter.“ One 68 year-old man, who called himself Ebenezer warned vehemently.

Interestingly, Mr Ebenezer found an unexpected supporter from a usual arch-rival quarter, a notorious pimp, known by the nickname Daddy cool Dave.

“This crazy advice from those who call themselves medical specialists does not set a good precedence for our business. Our women need to take all necessary remedies to attract and most importantly, keep clients. Definitely, keeping the gold mines dirty is not part of the strategy.“ The business-minded pimp lamented disrespectfully.

Ironically, even many women themselves were equally sceptical about the advice of Dr Mbwekapa. According to the interviews conducted by our reporter on the streets in Biazam, many women viewed themselves as “dirty“ if they leave their womanhood unwashed. Asked how they would feel to make love to a man without cleaning this part of the body first, most of the women interviewed said they would feel “unease“ and “insecure.“

But Dr Mbwekapa had an important advice for women who, according to her, “˜put the interest of men first before theirs“:

“By cleaning the inside, the daily slimy mucus produced by the woman, which protects her during the sexual intercourse, is removed. This mucus protects a woman from pain and injuries during sexual intercourse. Once this mucus is removed, one is exposed, by bruising, to infections and viruses such as HPV human papilloma virus and HIV.“

Even though Dr Mbwekapa`s advice made sense medically, most women in Biazam are still highly influenced by their cultural and sociological cognitions, which they have internalised through socialisation.

The question in the mind of many in Biazam is what comes first: the adherence to the social stereotypical expectations or the medical interest of the women? This is an important question only the women themselves must answer.

The above story is a parody.  It is entirely fictitious;  therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real.