Some years ago, the thought of the opposition leader of the Zimbabwean MDC-T party, Morgan Tsvangirai invoked fear, respect, invincibility“¦. and indeed, hopes for a new Zimbabwe. He was the epitome of a fresh start from a 34year old uninterrupted and often controversial rule of the ZANU-PF under the iron fist of 90 year old President Robert Gabriel Mugabe.
Morgan Tsvangirai was, indeed, the untouchable darling and the anointed choice of some Western governments, to succeed President Mugabe, whose audacious and nonchalant attitude, the West have grown frustratingly used to and increasingly tired of. While the West accuses the president of running the affairs of Zimbabwe like his family business, they virtually appointed, anointed, generously rewarded and financially spoiled the leader of the MDC-T opposition party, Morgan Tsvangirai, in the hope that he could politically outsmart the old fox of the Zimbabwean political chase game, Robert Mugabe. Once in power, the west hoped, their governments could gain influence and a say in the political affairs of the Zimbabwe ““ an act which has become an anathema under president Mugabe. Ok. Now you understand why Mugabe, who had once travelled through the same West ““ love road has been laughing at Tsvangirai, don`t you?
“They are only interested in their permanent interests.“ Our reporter heard President Mugabe warn one of his close pals.
But what happened next? In the twinkling of an eye, Morgan Tsvangirai had metamorphosed from a Trade Union activist to an immensely rich political Mahogany. You are kidding! You did indeed say that Mr. Tsvangirai would prove President Mugabe wrong! Wow! Morgan Tsvangirai lived in a mansion. He interacted with world leaders whenever he wanted. He mixed up with the poor masses – mostly when he needed their votes. He dined in the world class restaurants. Morgan Tsvangirai was linked to ““ and could afford ““ costly relationships with a multitude of women. He could pay thousands of dollars for a dowry. The former Prime Minister paid his former wife, Locardia Karimatsenga Tembo a whopping US$300 000 for an out of the court martial settlement. Whether this juicy amount came from the US$500 000 Tsvangirai got from the Britain’s Westminster Foundation or from Botswana, two former allies of Tsvangirai, seems to matter less to many than the alleged extravagance of Mr. Tsvangirai. Isn’t the same Morgan Tsvangirai, who could afford any boat trip he liked ““ even for a girl friend? What of the lavish honeymoon trip of Morgan Tsvangirai and his newly wedded wife Elizabeth Macheka in the United Kingdom, with a boat cruise on the famous River Thames? That was the same time an ordinary Zimbabwean was – and is still ““ on the canoe paddling river Zambezi, Luenha and Mazowe, struggling to make ends meet. Perhaps the lot of an ordinary Zimbabwean seemed to matter less to Tsvangirai at that time. Nor the archaic belief in Zimbabwe which predicts misfortune to a November marriage. Interestingly, with his controversial traditional wedding in November, Morgan Tsvangirai defied all odds and arguably challenged the Zimbabwean myth that a marriage in November is a harbinger of doom. Not even Kata Kata Magazines`s piece could make him change his mind. Please read more: http://www.katakata.org/babwezim-pm-ganmor-giraitsvan-and-november-wedding-taboo/
Above all, Morgan Tsvangirai was looking forward ““ and with every conviction ““ to become the next president of Zimbabwe (despite that he was allegedly told by the controversial prophet TB Joshua of Nigeria, that he would never rule Zimbabwe). By ignoring TB Joshua`s warnings, was Mr Tsvangirai desperate to prove that followers of the prophet are products of gullibility? Or were TB Joshua`s predictions accurate? Was Mr Tsvangirai perhaps, too power drunk to listen to the warning of the Man of God? Could it be that the former Prime Minister did not hear what he wanted to hear from the prophet? Whatever!
That was Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the MDC-T opposition party in Zimbabwe.
Today, we have a different Morgan Tsvangirai. Oh really? A spent force. A wounded bull, fighting sluggishly to regain control of his party`s political machine, which made him what he was. A battered buddy wrestling with his once political lover turned archetypal political nemesis Tendai Laxton Biti. A rejected political maid, struggling increasingly to regain the attention of the master, who has obviously shifted his mind to other potential lovers. Worse still, Mr Tsvangirai can hardly feed himself the way he was used. Nor can he fulfil his many financial obligations. In a nutshell, Morgan Tsvangirai is broke. But he is still keeping up appearances. Stop it!! Tell me about the predictions of TB Joshua and Mugabe!
Morgan Tsvangirai has sworn in the name of all the gods in Buhera district never to vacate his much cherished exclusive Highlands home, he inherited as prime minister during the 2009-2013 ill-fated unity government with his political ulcer Mugabe, despite his current financial malaise, which has recently turned him virtually into a beggar. From the miserable US$50 per monthly contribution of some of his trusted party members, to irregular stipend from few Western friends, who still adamantly hang on in the hopes that their once flamboyant President in waiting, still has any chance of snatching power from Mugabe. Those Tsvangirai`s zealots still do not succumb to the notion that his state of affairs is no more a bed of roses. Did anyone care to ask Mugabe what he thinks about all these?
Worse still, the MDC-T party (or faction of the party) Tsvangirai leads is equally broke. Just like many ordinary Zimbabweans. The economy of the country is heading towards a dusty road. Many Zimbabweans are finding themselves increasingly difficult to continue travelling the government`s bumpy economic road. Little by little, Morgan Tsvangirai, the lord has come to feel and understand what an average Zimbabwean is going through. Like many Zimbabweans, Tsvangirai is caged financially in his home. Like many Zimbabweans, he has to make good financial calculations before spending a cent. He is the master of the opportunity cost and scale of preference. The days of cruising around the world, lodging in five star hotels and interacting with powerful leaders during the coalition government era, are a forgone dream.
After failing three consecutive times to dislodge Mugabe from power, few die hard Western donors still count on Tsvangirai to deliver. With Mugabe`s ZANU-PF party in the succession battle, following the emergence of Mugabe`s wife, Grace as a new political juggernaut within the party and the dismissal of Joice Mujuru as the Vice President, it is left to see whether Tsvangirai would go into a political marriage of convenience with Mujuru or get the much needed Western support to reinvigorate his political relevance. Ahaa! There is no doubt Morgan Tsvangirai hates anything on a skirt, the question is: will Tsvangirai enter into a political marriage with one of the pillars of the same party he accuses of being architect of the Zimbabwe woes? Worse still, will the former Prime Minister start a political partnership with the very person President Mugabe called a thief ““ although Kata Kata`s reporter asked Mugabe fruitlessly to help show her the definition of “thief“ in the Zimbabwean political dictionary. When Kata Kata presented the former Prime Minister Tsvangirai the awkward scenarios before him, he dismissed them with a wave of the hand and murmured:
“It takes a thief to catch a thief“
Whatever he meant! With reports that the MDC-T party is in a financial anaemia, which has resulted in laying off of many faithful party workers, Morgan Tsvangirai and his MDC-T party cannot afford to displease their loyal servants who have wholeheartedly sacrificed their lives and votes for the sake of the party. Perhaps, Morgan Tsvangirai never deeply appreciated the commitments of those faithful servants, but now that circumstances have forced him to experience their daily hardship, Morgan Tsvangirai is faced with a huge responsibility. He will not only be struggling desperately to pay his bills, airtime, groceries and those daily expenses, what the former Prime Minister took for granted during the good old days, which many Zimbabweans battle desperately to meet. Morgan Tsvangirai will equally try to convince the masses of his party constituency that having experienced their daily economic woes, he is now a better person and well suited to understand their predicaments – and deliver accordingly.
It is a plead no one is sure an average Zimbabwean will honour, having in mind that once bitten, twice shy.
The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real.