Vote for  Mr Africa!

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Often we hear that African leaders are corrupt, incompetent, selfish, visionless…. (continue counting till the day breaks…). While we question why those clueless Africans are elected or accepted by the masses, more questions come to mind. Could it be that the African masses share some blames for the incompetence and bad leadership of their leaders? Or can one argue that some Africans perhaps exhibit some characteristics of their leaders? The same leaders they criticise? Same genes? Hum! Isn’t time to vote for MR. AFRICA? Let’s laugh a bit despite the messy situation our African leaders have put us into, and try to find the best way to correct the challenging situation and put things right. Here are the MR. AFRICA contestants:

1. Mr Democratic Republic of Congo, who went to the library looking for Facebook
2. Mr Equatorial Guinea, who asked the daughter to check inside the cupboard and under the bed when she told him she lost her period
3. Mr Gambia, who went to the bank with a spanner to open a bank account.
4. Mr Guinea, who complained to the daughter that the woman inside the TV she bought to keep him company, was not mannered because she only talked to herself
5. Mr. Kenya, who climbed a paw-paw tree to check if the paw-paw was ripe enough, then came down and started stoning the fruit to plug it.
6. Mr. Zambia, who jumped up and down and rolled on the ground because he forgot to shake his medicine before he drank it
7. Mr. Angola, who climbed the baobab tree to hang his radio because he was told to put the music high
8. Mr Sudan, who phoned Bill Gates to ask when Microsoft Door and Sentence would be in the market because Microsoft Window and Word have been long in the market
9. Mr. Uganda, who went to bed with a ruler just to know how long he slept”
10. Mr. Nigeria, who saw something that looked like shit, touched, tasted it and said “Hmmm” it’s shit ooo!!! Thank God I no step on it…”
11. Mr Togo, who went to the shoe shop 10 years after buying a shoe, to complain that the size of the shoe had remained the same 10 years after buying it
12. Mr. Ethiopia, who went to the bank to rob, brought out his drill machine by mistake, instead of a gun, apologised to the bank workers, who were already lying on the floor with their hands up: “Sorry, I thought it was a gun; I will come back tomorrow at 2 pm. Sorry again for the inconveniences”
13. Mr. Tanzania, who came to the mosque with a bike, removed the key for the bike and used it to lock his slippers before entering the mosque
14. Mr. Sierra Leone, who lowered his TV volume because he wanted to read a text message.
15. Mr South Africa, who broke everything in his house because he was told to dance a “Break Dance
16. Mr. Malawi, who polished his shoes to take a passport photo.
17. Mr. Liberia, the doctor, who woke up a sleeping patient simply because he forgot to give him sleeping pills…
18. Mr. Botswana, who chose to drink Fanta because he thought sprite was unripe.
19. Mr Mozambique, who answered “You” when his psychologist asked him what he would call a person who talked without others paying attention
20. Mr Guinea, who took a wrapper and covered his plate of soup because his wife complained that the soup had been naked ever since he abandoned his task as the breadwinner
21. Mr. Ghana man who put his radio inside the refrigerator because he wanted to listen to Cool music.
22. Mr Rwanda, who complained that all houses and trees always started running after him whenever he entered a car
23. Mr Mali, who shouted “April Fools!!” to the girlfriend after she saw him watching a porno movie and asked him why
23. Mr Zimbabwe, who ate up his tables and chairs because his doctor told him to eat more protein, especially anything with four legs
24: Mr Morocco, who told the wife “It is not what you think” when she caught him naked in bed with another woman.
25. Mr. South Sudan, who removed his shoes to enter a taxi.
26. Mr Egypt, who drove around the roundabout for 100 times because he organised a round trip for his tourists.
27. Mr Algeria, who asked pupils to stop coming to school, so that the school can be kept clean
28. Mr Tunisia, who complained that small cars overtook him on the road and wondered how fast those small cars would run when they get older
29. Mr. Central African Republic in the bedroom room, who shouted at a ringing phone in the living room to tell the caller to call back because he was busy
30 Mr. Namibia, who was baffled that even older women and men from Britain could speak English
31 Mr. Somalia, who watched the news and waved at the news reader.
32. Mr. Gabon, who gave his son a red card for fainting twice when he was sick
33. Mr. Burundi, who was asked the minerals they had in his country, he answered Fanta, Coca-Cola, Sprit and Pepsi Cola
34. Mr. Burkina Faso, who turned his wristwatch back from 6 pm to 1 pm and took his medicine because he forgot to take the medicine at 1 pm
35. Mr Eritrea, who flogged his television for not saying a common “Good Morning” to him any time he spoke to him
36. Mr. Senegal, who put his head inside the freezer because his wife told him to cool his head when he was angry
37. Mr Mauritania, a grandfather, who saw a snake and started questioning it to tell him honestly, which exact fruit it gave to Eve, so that he would make sure he would not eat the same
38. Mr Congo Republic, who went to the mortuary to wake up his dead father because he had forgotten where the father asked the family to bury him.
39. Mr. Niger, who went to the radio shop to bring back the radio he bought and demanded back his money because the stupid people inside never slept but only talk non-stop like a parrot
40. Mr. Ivory Coast, who asked his pastor to give him God’s WhatsApp number because the pastor encouraged the congregation to communicate with God
41. Mr. Chad, who towed and returned back an automatic car he bought to the dealer because it could only drive in the day, pointing at the sign “D” on the automatic board.
42. Mr Benin, who climbed on top of the roof of his house every year to measure the length and wondered why the house was suffering from malnutrition like that of his neighbour, which had failed to grow up.
43. Mr. Cape Verde, who wondered how such a small TV could house some many people, including millions of pilgrims, Saudi Arabia claimed they could not accommodate during the Pilgrimage.
Cast your vote now!!
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