Woodnolly in Panic After Death Prediction

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Following his prophecy last week that one Canafri president would die, which came to pass, the recent prediction by the Gerianian prophet and head of Nations All Of Church Synagogue (NAOCS), Prophet BT Shuajo of death of a male member of the Woodnolly industry, has left the industry in a pandemonium.

The prediction was made at his second service on Easter Sunday, April 9, 2012 during which the church leader warned that the movie industry must pray and fast forty days and forty nights in the wilderness against the death of a male actor.

Immediately after the prophecy, many Woodnolly actors and actresses ““ most of them, regular members of his church – were left in a panic. While many in the movie industry who were petrified with fear decided to intensify their prayers in the hope that the Cup could pass away from them, others resorted to using “donation“ and “offering,“ in the hope that they would find favour in the prophet`s sight. Through this, they believe he could help postpone ““ or convince his Master to avoid – any possible immediate death pendulum dangling before them.

Asked by our correspondent whether he believed human beings could predict the future, one famous actor, who requested strict anonymity because he did not want his fans to desert him, looked at her in a you ““ must be ““ kidding fashion and responded:

“Have you gone out of your senses? First, it was the former president Adua Yar` of Geriani, last week, it was President Rikamutha of Wimala`s turn. Now it is Woodnolly actors` page that is opened. You call that a co-incidence?“

When questioned by the reporter why the famous actors, who has featured in many films as a fearful, powerful native doctor, was afraid of death, he responded with “This one is real, my sister. Acting is different from reality my dear“

But not only actors are worried about Prophet BT Shuajo`s prophecy. Actresses and many other prominent individuals in the Woodnolly industry are not taking the prediction with a pinch of salt. Kata Kata authoritatively gathered that many film producers, directors, scriptwriters and even camera persons in the industry are deeply worried and genuinely terrified that their days are numbered. Some, Kata Kata was clearly informed, went to the extent of ending their career in the industry to escape the wrath of what they believed as impending tragedy. One actor went further extreme to phone a printing company to cancel the order to print his complimentary card.

“˜The printing is almost done, sir“ responded the printing company. But the actor was persistent. “Do the cards contain my profession? If yes, please destroy them. I am on sabbatical leave. I do not know when and whether I will resume after the leave as an actor“ He insisted.

Heavy debates continue to generate on the ascribed omnipotent power of the controversial man of God. Is he indeed omniscience? Many believe he is. They argue that most of his prophecies came to pass.

“You don`t need to be a man of God to know that a leader could die this year. You can predict that with the knowledge of the affected person`s medical history. Anyway, since the prophet asked for prayers against the death, what stops him from claiming that these prayers have helped to avoid the predicted death if such a prediction did not come through? It is unfortunate that individuals` lives are recently so effectively controlled by many religious executives that one can live in perpetual fear and be enslaved by the religion discourse.“ One opponent, who equally refused to give her full name argued.

The mountainous task before Kata was to verify the authenticity of Prophet Shuajo`s predictions. His claims that he is God`s intermediary could not independently be ascertained by our reporter, who unfortunately could not contact God for verifications.

Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that the Woodnolly industry is in the state of utmost jittery due to the recent prophecy of Prophet BT Shuajo. Worse still, like in many other sections of the Gerianian economy, the Woodnolly industry suffered a series of death last year, which includes that of Efe Loco Sam, Dinegeral Ochaeke, Leyash Sunwo and others. With the death this year of prominent actors like Vidda Ezeihi and Mesja Hairo alias Gorygrin of the Masquerade New, one does not need only the prophecy of Prophet BT Shuajo for a serious soul searching.

Perhaps, Prophet BT Shuajo needs to inform his sheep as well that death is a necessary end, which will come when it will come. This could help them indeed to prepare for the inevitable rather than die before their death.

The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real.