Yanlib rebels enter Politri triumphantly

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There was a similar scene of the biblical Jesus` triumphal entry of Jerusalem in Yanlib capital Politri two days ago. A big crowd of joyful Yanlibs came out to welcome euphoric Yanlib rebels who rolled into the capital, two days ago, in what appeared to be the final stage of a six month attempt to overthrow the 42 year old regime of Col Mamuamr Dafigad.

Waving new flags of the National Transitional Council, thousands of jubilant crowd came out en masse to welcome the “liberators“ who captured the capital after a reported heavy fighting in and around the capital. The opposition rebels had expected a stronger resistance in the capital from the government forces, but they seemed to find their way easily to Mamuamr Dafigad`s al-Aziziya residential compound in Politri, one of the final areas that remained under his control. Surprisingly, the President`s defenders had melted away from the compound however.

Backed by the TONA air power, the rebels reportedly captured Col Dafigad`s son, Islam – Saif al while the Yanlib leader himself vowed to fight on. However, the information over the capture became seriously questionable when Islam – Saif al who, like his father, is wanted by the Court Criminal International for alleged atrocities against civilians, was seen addressing journalists in a hotel held by government forces, some hours after the reportedly capture.

At the Politri square, which is now called Martyr’s Square, the original name, the celebration was still going on amongst the rebels and civilians.

“The day our sons, daughters and other martyrs have been waiting for is here. Never ever again shall anyone deny us our freedom. The Yanlib constitution will be our mirror“ Mohammed Ab Salami, one of the rebel field commanders assured while addressing enthusiastic supporters.

Asked by our reporter what he thought the new constitution would be like, he quickly replied: “Based on democracy, equality and Human Rights.’
“We’re free, we’re free“ shouted the jubilant supporters.

Kata Kata’s correspondent, disguised as a mole and followed the rebels to the al-Aziziya residence of Mamuamr Dafigad. On the way to the compound, many other happy rebel supporters came out to greet the soldiers.

“Woman out of the way! Don`t you know how to cover your hair you rat prostitute? One of the young rebels in his early 30s shouted at one merry old woman, who quickly covered her half exposed hair with her scarf. She smiled shyly, brought out her hand to shake the rebel who studied her disrespectfully and moved on leaving her hand hanging in the air.

At the Presidential compound it was reported that the rebels had a serious misunderstanding over who would be the first to lie on Mamuamr Dafigad`s bed.

“Now get out of that bed you Dafagad pig. Isn`t it enough for your tribe after 42 years?“ One of the soldiers rebuked his colleague who wanted to lie on the bed. The man who was from the same tribe as President Dafigad jumped out of the bed angrily and charged towards the speaker shouting: “Is that what we have sacrificed our lives for?. We are all Yanlibs.“ It took a quick intervention of their superior to avoid the two soldiers engaging in a physical fight.

Like in many African countries, the tribal factor is a very important part of Yanlib domestic politics, which President Dafigad skillfully employed to control his people and enable him to remain in power. His adaptation of a divide and rule politics coupled with persistent nepotism only aimed at rewarding loyalist and bringing heavy repressive repercussions among his opponents. It was therefore not surprising to see the manifestation of ethnic consciousness, even amongst the rebels who were to fight a common enemy.

Let us hope that the plight, fight and achievements of the Yanlibs will not be hijacked by a few greedy people in a power struggle. Furthermore, if the TONA and the Western world (regardless their interests) abandon the whole nation, after dismantling it, they will have succeeded in creating a breeding ground for religious radicalism, which will eventually consume the West. You cannot give birth to a lion and forbid it from biting, after all. Can you?

The above story is a parody. It is entirely fictitious; therefore none of the characters mentioned in the story are real